her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My ass is underappreciated
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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