is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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