I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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