a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
