she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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