Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize