so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
