Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
