I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize