I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
