I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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