Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
