thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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