I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
