how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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