Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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