I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
