Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
