So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
