Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I deserve this hangover.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
