So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
sarcasm needs its own font
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
