I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
