We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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