i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
