I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
