Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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