is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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