Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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