If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
