After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
