It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
