fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
