At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
