I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
