Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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