Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
