It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
