I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
