I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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