You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
