So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
one might say we're banned from that church
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
