I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize