I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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