I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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