By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my shit smells like andre
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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