He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
