Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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