your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
