I looked at my own cervix.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
