No awkward lesbian experiences without me
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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