and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
