I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
