before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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