So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
