Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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