i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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