you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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