you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You took a bar mat shot.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
