Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
