I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
