ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
