i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
cat food counts as protein by the way
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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