hotel room ftw
my vag is so smooth its legendary
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
