I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
