He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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