so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Ladies don't puke and tell
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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