I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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