Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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